Long Distance Love
My boyfriend visited me in Kentucky last week, so I wanted to share some memories we made and speak on long distance relationships!
First off, all of you who know us know that we are a pretty perfect match! I've been dating Aust since I was 14... So crazy to look back on! He has been my soul from the start, and I seriously wouldn't change my life for anything.
If you've read my previous blog posts then you probably know this information already! But if not, I'll make it short and sweet.
A couple years ago my parents moved to the South, and I decided to join them when Austin was going off to his new University. I was at a university back in Washington State and decided to transfer to the University of Kentucky to finish my degree. I had been with him for 5 years at the time, and we only lived a minute away from each other growing up. Once my parents left to Kentucky I actually lived with his family for 8 months, so we were very much inseparable. The week leading up to me leaving for Kentucky I had so many scary thoughts and questions about long distance. I never questioned him being disloyal or not making it work, but it is easy to overthink a situation, especially when you are in college.
So, here are some of my tips to making a long distance relationship work 💗Just know it's totally going to suck sometimes, but it is so so worth it! Also, the anticipation leading up to leaving is the hardest. Once you are settled in your new home it is a lot easier to cope with.
I know this is an obvious statement, but like they say communication is key for a long distance relationship. Back home we were both great at this because we were always around the same people and knew what was going on. Once we both moved to new places, we no longer knew who each of us were surrounded by and it drew questions. I am the queen of asking questions - I wish boys could read our minds and know that we want to know more than they sometimes tell! Austin is very laid back which is great, but he wouldn't always think to share details that I wanted to know. So, easy fix I asked him to communicate more with me and that is what he did. I get it may not always be that easy, but talk it out and you'll find a way to make it work.
I know this might sound contradicting, but also try to avoid excessive communication. It is okay to go about your day and not talk 24/7. Set some ground rules regarding your expectations in the beginning that way you both are on the same page.
Avoid Dangerous Situations
Next, try your best to avoid dangerous situations. If going to parties or the club upsets one of the people involved, make sure to find a compromise. In my own opinion, when I'm in a relationship I don't care to go to parties because I feel like those are meant to meet people and it's uncomfortable when guys try and talk/flirt with you. Instead, you can go out with your girlfriends or boys to a bar where you're not surrounded by drunk college kids. It's also smart to tell your person beforehand of going out to reassure him/her of what you're doing. Try to be careful about this sort of matter because your person is only going to be worried or suspicious if you don't share what's happening. In the end, my biggest tip would be to share your expectations so you both know what each person needs in these situations.
Stay Honest With Each Other
I've found it's important to talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, apathy, whatever. If you try and hide something from your person, or don't tell them because you thought it wasn't a big deal and would only upset them, then you are wrong... That honestly only makes situations worse and will continue to bring up unanswered questions. You have to be more open and honest than you've ever been while doing long distance since you can't just get together one day and feel better. I go months not seeing Austin, so when I feel off with him or upset it sometimes carries on for a day or so since I can't just go over and talk how we normally would. Remember that it’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.
Visiting & Positivity
Lastly, know each others schedules and try and visit whenever you can! One of Austin's old coaches told him that long distance is the ultimate test and it really shows you how much you care about your person. We talk about this all the time because you literally learn to love and appreciate them on a whole other level. I love visiting Austin or having him come visit me! It's so exciting, but also hard at the same time knowing the visit is only temporary and you'll have to leave. But, in the end if we have forever to live together then a couple years apart can't hurt!
I hope this post helps some of you in your long distance relationships! Especially starting out, I wish I knew more people in the beginning who went through it so they could tell me more of what to expect. If you have any questions or want to give me advice, you can message me or comment below! Love you all 💗xoxox